THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES

 

Greg Norman’s latest offering (and there have been a few) of his ‘buffed’ bod to the adoring masses is symptomatic of an increasing number of punters in their sixties who seem to think that they still have it in the looks’ stakes. Delusion and denial are becoming the defining processes of seniors who are desperately hanging onto the fantasy that their physical presence adorns and enhances any social gathering or event.

You only have to view super, sexy, sixty plus social media walls to realise that narcissism and self-promotion of the ‘visage’ are the order of the day as we encounter each of these critter’s online journeys towards a Top of the Pops podium finish in the handsome/ beautiful seniors’ category.

But there’s a slight technical problem. Denial and delusion can only take you so far. If you can stand it, these new images of the athletic Greg reveal exactly what he is……. a sixty three year old man. There are folds and crevices in his ‘formidable’ frame that wouldn’t have been there ten years ago. And let’s not go anywhere near the wrinkles and overhanging flesh that are evident not only on Norman but on all of us who were born before 1960.

Being 63.5 years old, I know plenty of people- both women and men- who form a part of Norman’s cohort. Not one of them, and I mean not one, looks anything unlike what they are……sixty years old or beyond. Thank goodness that many of them accept this. I hope I do. I don’t have much choice. My nude form resembles the figurine atop one of those voodoo priest’s death rattle sticks. The only possible deviation is the amount of hair protruding from ungodly places as I accidentally catch the frightening image with my eyes in the bathroom mirror. It’s not pretty.

How do you spot one of these male or female deniers? Well, as previously stated, there are a lot more of them around so they are becoming easier to tag. First of all, they’re over sixty of course. Secondly, if you hear this……..Remember how old our parents looked when they were our age…… you know you’re looking at one right in the face. Trust me.

Greg Norman’s a sort of cosmetic spiv who should have kept doing what he was very good at……….. finishing second.